Crushes, love, sweet memories, trust, promises, betrayal, tears and breakups. Why is it that these words only paint a picture of teenage or the age period of early and mid twenties?
Why can’t we relate this scenario with a person who is married?
What is it that makes us think in this way? Should I blame the human nature which does identify this notion and yet traverses on this path or the truth that until there’s something enforced by law people hardly care about it, no laws govern relationship status’s so people hardly care, they find a new girl/boy and they just move on but that’s not the point I want to highlight today. The point is what does love actually mean to us? For many it may mean life to them, for some it’s something which is still a mystery but indeed for many it’s just a feeling that gives them happiness and satisfaction.
But have a deeper thought about it and you’ll realize that it’s simply nothing more than being mature in life to handle your partner yet being kiddish to cheer him/her up because you realize that there is nothing better to ask than your partner’s smiling face.
There is some age (which you decide) which teaches you that love was never about how your partner looked, it was never about how he/she dressed up, and it was certainly not about how he/she made you recover from a disaster.
Love is all about correcting your partner’s mistakes, backing him/her up silently; telling him/her that he/she looks fat and the clothes in the wardrobe don’t fit him now, and yes making him/her feel a boy/girl forever and not a man/woman. I don’t know how much I make sense, but the entire definition of love according to me is all the feelings wrapped up in a nice box and given to someone.
Coming to the point, I feel it’s difficult to relate the so called “teenage love” picture with the picture of “marriage love” (marriages which are established around age of 27 onwards) as there’s a certain threshold that one reaches to and realizes all of the aforementioned things, they then finds happiness in their own partners, which somewhere brings this point that it’s possible to establish love anywhere, there’s nothing as a good partner or a bad one, it’s just that we refuse to compromise on our lavish lifestyles and give them up and bend in front of someone, to which the obvious way that most prefer is – the breakup. But is it actually needed? For me the answer is a no.
When someone can think about how to survive in the worst possible conditions even after continuously being hit by a number of ordeals, then how is it that one just chooses to walk away from this situation. Not critically accusing the human beings, but we all are self centered. So that’s why the authors of this blog saw a perfect opportunity to cover up a marriage and watch the sacred bond of marriage up-close and the entire story behind the scene.
The wedding was on the 26th of January, and although preparations have been going on since the past six months, the main functions were on the 24th, 25th and 26th. The wedding was in a place named Siliguri, which is West Bengal. I arrived there on 24th morning.
Day 1: 24th of January
Some relatives had already come; some came today, while others were going to arrive tomorrow. The mehendi function was today; but it wasn’t really the way it is shown in movies. There isn’t any dance or fun and frolic. Preparations were being made to shift to the hotel, the next day, and so everyone was busy with one thing or the other. Some people had come to put mehendi, and all my aunts were waiting for their turn, one by one. I too got mehendi put on my hands, and then I couldn’t do anything for the next two hours, until it had come off. Although everyone was busy with one thing or other, people shouting here and there, for this and that, I could feel that excitement and the chaos which happens when there are weddings. The mehendi applying happened from morning till evening as there were a lot of relatives. After dinner, when all the local relatives had gone, the choreographer had come so that everyone could practice their dance, which was to happen tomorrow – the geet-sangeet function. When I told this to my friends, they told me that it was odd for them to hear this, and they had thought that this only happened in movies – as they never prepared for the geet sangeet function, and everyone in their family just danced to the DJ.
There was another event which happened today. The wedding card was taken to from our house to the girl’s house and given to the elders there. The card was beautifully decorated and placed in a tray with dry fruits and other items around it. There was also the idol of Lord Krishna in the middle of the tray with a peacock feather.
After the dance practice, which got over around 12, the house was still buzzing with excitement. There were things to pack, this to take and this not to take and how will this entire luggage go and what not. My mom and other aunts were busy packing, talking and discussing what needed to be done and what not until 3 am in the night, after which they finally slept.
Day 2: 25th of January
Only one day was left for the wedding, and the chaos in the room 307 was evidence for that. We shifted in the hotel today, and although we were given a separate room, but my aunts were given the suite room 307 and it was the main room, with all the items and other things needed for each ceremony. The first function of the day was to take clothes, jewelry and cosmetics to the girl’s house. All these items were called ‘buri’. Usually the girl’s bridal dress is sent from the boy’s family, in almost all cultures, but in this case, the dress to be worn for the geet sangeet function was sent from our house. An aunt-uncle, I and my sister-in-law went to the girl’s house to give all of it. There was so much confusion and mismanagement over what had been packed, and what was to be taken from the shop where all the packing had been done. On top of everything else, we were running way behind the schedule. We were supposed to give the ‘buri’ by 2 o clock in the afternoon, but we reached there at around half past three. All this made me realize that even with prior planning, and all the arrangements made, there is always something or the other which goes wrong, in weddings. After we came back to hotel and had lunch, all of us went to get ready for the evening function – the geet-sangeet. It was the most exciting function of the entire wedding, atleast for me. But I was nervous as well, because I was dancing too, and I am not at all good in dancing. Everyone was ready by half past seven, and my aunt (whose son was getting married) was looking really pretty. I wore a black colored lengha and the function started by eight. There were dance performances by all my aunts-uncles, my mom, cousins and relatives on the bride’s side. The dance performances were fun, and it was especially nice to see the aunts and uncles dancing together, because one doesn’t see that happening every day. The dance performances got over around quarter to ten. The law doesn’t allow loud music to be played in open spaces after ten o clock in West Bengal. So everyone got on the stage and danced for about 15-20 minutes after which the music was stopped. Dinner was served after the program ended and after that everyone went into their rooms, to change, rest and sleep. Meanwhile in 307, preparations were being made for tomorrow’s functions.
Leave a Reply